4.  Widowed at Age 39

“Why are you crying?  He’ll be fine soon.”

The surgeon had just approached me as I stood, fearful, in the hospital corridor outside my husband’s room. “Recovery from a ruptured appendix just takes longer,” he continued.  “No need to be upset.”

In my heart I knew that my husband of 21 years was not recovering on the 4th day after surgery.  I stayed with him throughout each day, waiting for signs of improvement, but saw none.  He was unable to eat or walk unassisted, and was in constant abdominal pain.  I tried to be calm and reassuring while at his bedside, but late each night, as I drove home to shower, change my clothes, and check on our kids, I was so scared I couldn’t even pray.  For the first time in my life I could not pray.  I was filled with fear as I felt my husband was dying.  He kept telling me how much he loved me.

On the evening of the 4th day, he seemed to feel a bit better and suggested I go home and get a good night’s sleep as he planned to do the same.  I reluctantly agreed to go home, and as I left his room he smiled and said, “You need to be with the kids.”

©Pat Montesano 2008 All Rights Reserved.