2.  Mothering A Child With Mental Retardation

“Your boy is mentally retarded from brain damage at birth.”

No!  I didn’t want to hear that.  It set me reeling.  How could I go home and tell this diagnosis to my husband: that this beautiful third son of ours, with the huge brown eyes and soft brown curls, would not develop as we thought he would?  From the time of his difficult birth until this diagnosis we struggled while we feared the unknown.  At 18 months of age the doctors believed they could observe him in a hospital for 30 days in order to diagnose the reason he was not developing as considered normal.  We couldn’t understand his behavior and were confused.  Now there was a diagnosis.  It scared me.

Once my husband and I recovered from the shock and disappointment of the diagnosis, we committed ourselves to helping him.  We were told his brain had been damaged from a lack of oxygen during his birth, and he would not develop beyond a third-grade level.  At least, knowing his prognosis, we could pray and plan how to go forward on this unfamiliar journey.  We had planned to have a large family and took time to seriously reconsider this option after accepting our son’s diagnosis.  Although we were devastated by the sad news of our son’s condition, we prayerfully concluded that we would go ahead and accept the children God would send us.  We were assured that our son’s disability was in no way genetic.

©Pat Montesano 2008 All Rights Reserved.